This paper examines the politics of representation around male to male sexualities in contemporary Bangladesh. It traces the tensions and faultlines that emerge when NGOS promote sexual rights claims in the language of individual identity, among historically and culturally located subjects for whom sexual and social identities do not necessarily coincide. Drawing on fieldwork carried out in urban Bangladesh, I argue that the meanings and use of categories such as gay, kothi and MSM are shaped by the NGOisation of activist space. Further, and contrary to dominant represenations, a range of sexual practices are accomodated as long as these do not rupture the public-private divide.