This paper examines how reconciliation may be advanced when memory is enlarged beyond the moment of trauma and shared with “enemies” by recognizing their common humanity and their common ghosts. My work investigates what happens to memory when American Armenians, describing themselves as pilgrims, “return” to Turkey in search of their family’s houses, villages and towns lost in 1915. They bring with them stories of traumatic loss, but also stories of the warmth of family life in Anatolia, which becomes even realer to them as they enter a culture that feels like their own. But along with this confrontation with the familiar is a confrontation with the historic enemy, who lives it. These are Turkish citizens who also had Ottoman ancestors. Their families, too, were uprooted from their Ottoman heritage after WWI; but their identity was influenced by a Turkish nationalism in which the Metz Yeghern, the pogrom-like violence at the heart of Armenian memory is often categorically denied. Interactions between these groups, including those who find that they are actually related (often first cousins), helps narrow a chasm between the two identities that has been wide and complex. Without political recognition of real events, reconciliation may be impossible. But the pilgrimage route, with its mapping of oral histories and mental pain and its recognition of the shared humanity of once or imaginary neighbors, affects both sides profoundly and can only help in this process. This paper attempts to read my material objectively, but also with hope.