Feminist studies of international relations and conflict have illustrated the gendered effects of war (Elshtain, 1995; MacKenzie, 2012; Sylvester, 2010, 2013). Studies of conflict in the Middle East have also shown how the legacies of war transform women’s rights struggles (Khoury, 2013; Saeidi, 2010). However, the following question remains unexplored by current studies: As women challenge social and political structures in the post-war context, how do they develop the strength to undermine the norms that govern their societies? We argue that between oppression and resistance, and before activism, there exists strategies for cultivating the necessary self-confidence and courage to confront the contingent histories with which a woman lives. What role do wars play, if any, in the empowerment of women during this process? In this paper we examine these questions by exploring the Persian memoirs of Iranian women who have lost their husbands in the Syrian conflict. We also draw on interviews with pro-regime female youth that consume these memoirs and apply them to their lives. We argue that maintaining imaginary relationships with martyred men is one way that some women in Iran are gathering the will to push back on the limits that govern their lives. In the current context of gender struggles, some women in Iran and the broader Middle East have decided to be strong in the face of socio-political conflicts that are more detrimental if overlooked. In this paper we seek to understand how loving martyred men helps some Iranian women remain resilient.