How do we keep in touch with friends and research participants in war zones? How often do we contact them and how far do we go in supporting them in their needs? This paper is about the way friendships and research relationships are challenged in times of war. On the basis of my experiences with friends and research participants in Yemen, and in particular my relationship with one of my best friends in the port town Hodeidah, I explore the different ways in which friendships and research relationships can develop in situations of crisis and war. I argue that friendships are of utmost importance in times of war, as a way to keep in touch with our colleagues, friends and informants. Friendship is in my view one of the main ways in which we can show our solidarity and support with people in difficult political and economic circumstances. I build on Abu-Lughod’s tactical humanism (1993) and the work of feminist anthropologists on friendship in fieldwork. In contrast with scholars who make a plea for friendship as a method of research (Tillman-Healy 2003), I argue that friendships should not be used as alternative research methods and that personal relationships with friends, colleagues and informants are more important that the collection of research data, in particular in times of crisis. I also discuss the difficulties to keep in touch, feelings of guilt, frustration and despair and a number of ethical dilemmas, which become accentuated in times of crisis and war.