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“Why Would I Hurt a Woman?”: Respectful/ Respecting Women in the Southern Oman
Abstract
Abu-Lughod defines honor killing as “the killing of a woman by her relatives for violation of a sexual code in the name of restoring family honor.” Honor killing is often seen as a component of Arab/ Muslim/ tribal culture, however, the Arab/ Muslim/ tribal Gibali community in southern Oman does not practice honor killing. The author combines formal interviews with historical and anthropological research, as well as over nine years of observations, to investigate why daughters/ sisters are not seen as ‘property’ to be killed by their fathers/ brothers for sexual transgressions. Gibali informants frame the issue in two ways: confidence and self-respect. “Our parents,” one Gibali man said, “grow confidence.” Another informant stated, “If you are more confident, you can take things more relaxed.” Gibalis are taught that it is wise to avoid confrontation. A person who does not seek vengeance is seen as positively and deliberately deciding to behave well, not showing a lack of ability to protect her/himself. In most situations, if a person seems on the verge of losing their temper, others will step in to calm the situation. A fight means that someone lost “his control” and it is incumbent on close relatives and friends to work to repair the damage. “Self-respect” means that each person’s honor is within their own control, thus a woman who transgresses has hurt herself, not damaged her family to the point where only her death can ‘clean’ the family/ tribal honor. As Wikan states about Sohar, Oman “The person’s own honor... requires that she or he honor others.” The author finds a similar cultural framework in the Dhofar region of Oman. A man’s honor is not always irrevocably connected to the sexual behavior of his female relatives. Further, to be interested in other people’s sexual activities is seen as dishonorable and degrading, not a necessary element of ‘policing’ one’s family or tribe. Pre- or post-marriage sexual transgressions should be dealt with only by the people immediately concerned and “covered” if possible.
Discipline
Anthropology
Geographic Area
Oman
Sub Area
Ethnography